It's All About the Experiences..

I came to Lebanon knowing that one day, this day would come. I had planned for it on the rougher days here after the move, dreamt about it when things seemed less positive than I hoped for them to be. But now that the day is here, well in 26 days that is, I can't seem to wrap my head around it. So much has happened in the last year, and I owe a lot of it to the experience.

The experience of being dropped in a foreign culture and land and learning the ways to survive and adapt. 

The experience of spending time with myself instead of constantly stretching and bending to be constantly surrounded by friends, family, or strangers. 

The experience of what it means to be a Christian when separated from the support of a church and the community of family I had learned to depend on for so long, and only depending on God. 

The experience of what it means to be a true friend; when it is your words and commitment that means more than grabbing coffee or superficial texts.

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The experience of being an American in the Middle East and learning the shortcomings my culture has in comparison and the strengths we have as well, but most importantly understanding form experience that I do not know everything, my nationality is not a trump card, and there is more to learn from others than ourselves.

Lebanon is an interesting country. Never would I thought I would say words such as, "I'll miss Lebanon," or that, "I can't wait to come back and visit," but it is true. Something about the people and the atmosphere of this country, with its lack of electricity, painfully slow internet and need for some hot water, combined with their traditions for thick, black, coffee and health and friendships above everything else; attaches you to it. I'm going to miss the layers of posters and graffiti along every wall surface of Beirut, the smell of freshly baked pastries and spices that come every morning. I'm going to miss the yells and honks that transform the traffic into something closer to a circus act, and the old Lebanese and Armenian ladies in their flower print dresses as they carry kilos upon kilos of vegetables, which they bought all for under a dollar. I'll even miss the quality of the air with the signature mix of the car fumes of a big city and the quirky add of the hookah smoke (and cigarettes). 

Overall, I am sad to leave this place, to leave my mom and step-dad, and to leave the culture and friends I made while I have been here. But, in spite of all that I am excited and so thrilled to be going back. A year away from my family and my friends has made me miss those close to me more than I wish to be, and I can't wait to be back with them and get to tell stories of my crazy time abroad. I can't deny that this first thing I will get to do is not worry about when the electricity is cut today and I can finally throw away toilet paper in the toilet...which is a big deal! It will be weird to not take shared public transportation everywhere, or to walk all the time. It will be weird to have fresh air, which I gladly welcome, and for everyone on a street not to know me or to know each other...just the way the streets are again will b weird for a while. 

So here is to the experiences, which in my opinion, I have been blessed this past year with a experience of a lifetime.

The F Word

Finals. 

The seemingly most dreaded word for all 18-25 year olds is finally here! Would you believe me though when I say I am glad for it. The final exams I have tomorrow and Tuesday are the markers of my accomplishments of the past four months, and the springboard for what is yet to come. 

When my finals are done, I will be travelling soon after to Alexandria and Cairo, Egypt with some of the closest friends that I have made since starting AUB...and I can finally see a camel! 

Final exams mean the semester is over, and leaves my academic future up in the air for opportunities and different outcomes. Mainly though, surviving these finals is a symbol of the experience I continue to have every day in Beirut. How just like in the U.S. universities, the students pull all-nighters in the library, eating a diet of Pepsi, crackers, chocolate and McDonald's, or in the very lebanese way, eating way too many Shawarma sandwiches or Manaousheh. 

I get to witness the stress that comes alongside the hundreds of engineering, pre-med and architecture students during exams, and thank the Lord that I am in no way interested in that field of study. 

I get to meet or get closer with friends who can now sleep standing up or in their chairs, and who don't let me take a shared taxi home after a night of studying. 

I get to see the sunset from campus, which is worth it, but luckily I have a home to go back to so I do not have to see sunrise as well. 

I get the time to enjoy where I am, with my amazing friends, and feel blessed I am still learning abroad.

So here's to FINALS

Wish me luck!

Life At Best

So if you thought that I fell off the face of the Earth the past two months, I sincerely apologize! With the start of the new year began the start of my first semester of university, or rather, "Uni", as said by Beiruti's. In the end of January I started at the beautiful campus of The American University of Beirut in an area adjacent to both the posh new Downtown Beirut, a tourist favorite of Hamra, and the Mediterranean Sea. 

Random shots from around campus!

Aerial photograph of entire campus (area around field)

View from a rooftop terrace on lower campus.

View from upper campus looking out at the Sea and Green Field!

These past two months since starting have been some of the most exciting moments of my life; filled with interesting people, life long friendships, new experiences and learning new things. It has been a tremendous blessing to be surrounded with so many diverse people and students of different backgrounds from mine, and I feel so grateful everyday to see the love, beauty and wonder in God's design of the world and those in it. As Beirut is a very international city, I have met people from many places around the world.....and that is REALLY the best part of being so far away. All the cultures, languages and little quirks of my friends in contrast or similarity to my background and personality makes me laugh and smile each and every day. It has been, and I hope will continue to be, one of the biggest adventures and learning experiences of my life attending AUB and living in Beirut. 

A New Day

I've been feeling kind of bad this past week that I have neglected updating my blog, and before starting fresh at the new year, I wanted to make sure I posted one last time in 2012.  The last week or few days in the end of December, in my opinion at least, have been transformed into a time for reflection and anticipation for the year to come. Personally, I can't even believe that in a matter of days it will be 2013, and that realization brings on very mixed emotions. I'm sad to see 2012 come to an end as this past year has been the most significant year in my life this far and for many different reasons. It was my senior year of high school, the year I went to the Dominican Republic for a 10 day missions trip, a year of ending, gaining and strengthening relationships, but most of all it was a year of creating memories, experiences, and growing up. This year was also the year, the last four months at least, that I moved 7,800 plus miles across the world to Beirut, Lebanon. By far the craziest and most adventurous thing I've ever done, the transition into my life here has also been bittersweet, just like the end of the year. Being so far from my family and friends back in the states would be the bitter part, and the difficulties that come with adapting to a new culture, people and location. However, as this is the time for reflection, this year has still, no matter what difficulties arose, been the best so far. The honesty that I have grown to apply to myself and my surroundings has been eye opening, and being given the chance just  to be here makes me very, very grateful. I've learned about myself, God, my friends, my family, everything, since I left California. While the move wasn't the end of a year, the earliest months of 2012 feel long ago as I look around the corner at 2013. It's scary to know that even more change is ahead waiting for me, and that it will be happening soon. 2013 means that I will be only a few weeks away from starting the University here, and that I will be jumping into the deep end after months of sitting in the  kiddie pool. Whatever fears or apprehensions I have are gone with the promise of more experiences, more memories, more good things that I know will come. Changes are difficult to make sometimes, but what I have lived though, done and seen in this past year ultimately lead me to embrace the new year and keep my faith. So, in looking back at all the good, all the crazy, and all the bittersweet of what this year had to offer, here is to the future good, the future crazy and the future bittersweet days to come! 

Blessed!

This past week flew by very quickly. Back home it was the week everyone was going back home to celebrate Thanksgiving, and the same day was both my mom and step dads anniversary and the Lebanese Independence Day.  Being the first year away from the majority of family, and the first year sans-Thanlsgiving, it was quite a bittersweet feeling for me. Not wanting to ignore Thanlsginging as it is one of my favorite holidays, except Christmas, of course, I took the opportunity to really think bout what was goin on in my life and what I was truly blessed and thankful for at this point in my life. The past three months have been a whirlwind of differences and emotions and events; and while I've had all the time in the world to be introspective and realize all that and whom I have in my life, it was important to see beyond the surface of my blessings. It was important to see how much God provides for me, from my safety to my health and to the simple necessities in life that I have never had to go without. I focused on all the love and support I have around me, regardless of distance physically, and that even when I may feel alone I can have peace that I never am or will be. Blessings go beyond family and friends though, and I realize how much I take for granted still. Even while being in a country so set apart from the States, I still don't properly thank God for being able to see the world in this new way, or to have this opportunities and experiences that I don't even know that are around me yet. Blessings in people, places, words, feelings, books, nature,things, there are so many blessings in my life that I forget to is creepy be thankful for. So even though I missed out, begrudgingly, on turkey and stuffing and way too many sweets this year, which I should be thankful for in itself,and hated to be away from my Scarpetti family, I am so beyond blessed and prized under the love of my God. While I'd love to say and have conviction in that I will continue,everyday, to remember how loved and cared for and blessed I am with my wonderful
 family, my friends and everything else, I know that I will fail many times. So here is to Thanksgiving, an important day to look at your life and praise God for what you do have around you, and to all the other days where you won't remember to be so thankful, but can try you best to count as many blessings as you can. Happy Thanksgiving for always! 

The Game of Life

Have you ever wondered why as a kid, board games seemed so exciting? Maybe they weren't as fun for you as they were for me, I probably enjoyed them more as I didn't play them very regularly, but there is something so simple and timeless about them. Monopoly, Scrabble, Sorry!, Apples to Apples(my favorite through high school) and so many others, they can so easily bring together a group of friends, strangers or family. Looking back into the moments where I've played these games, I've realized something- that my life, no matter how much I wish it would be, cannot be played like the board game version. LIFE, a game of spinning the wheel and getting cards of fate; what you study in school, when you marry, how many children you have, what car you drive, the house you buy, all these things in a game of luck, fate, of Life. But that's not reality is it. I can't roll a dice or spin a wheel or pass Go and collect $200. While I wish I could see in front of me in a exciting display my options of schools, careers, potential husband, children, cities and so on, that would defeat the purpose of living. If I knew exactly what to do, where to be, what to study, then I couldn't discover, I couldn't truly experience, I couldn't learn. It's been hard for me lately, faced with the decisions and confusion of not knowing where my life is going, and that is in reality a beautiful thing. I've realized that if I knew where I'd live, what I'd do and what my days on Earth had in store, I would live a bland, boring and predictable life. Instead, if I focus each day on my faith that God has his perfect plan for me, I can face the challenges of not knowing what I love to do and where I'll be a year from now and instead, I can be grateful for the place I'm in now, the people I've met, and the joy of experiencing life every new day I get. While picking a card may be easier, simpler, less messy, the game of life is not a game at all, and for some very good reasons too. Will I travel more, will I study sociology, become a writer or find a different passion, will I live abroad, "will I and what ifs" are boundless.  I do know however, that the moments ahead of me are full of promise, full of joy and full of hardships, but more importantly, full of purpose. I don't know where my life is going or who I will be beyond who I am today, but knowing that God created the maps for the games of life long before I could roll a dice to play, I can find peace in knowing that his plan is infinitely greater than any board game or chance decision. 

Life Lessons

I have always liked school. I may not have always been the perfect student, but I enjoyed almost all my teachers, classmates and classes in my education so far. However, in the last few years I have come to understand that you don't learn solely in a class setting, but in the real world you learn real life lessons, things only learned through experience. I've learned so much already in the relatively short amount of time I've been in Beirut, but more than anything I have learned about myself and those in my life. Here are some of the things I have learned in that respect so far:

People are complex. They come with different backgrounds, different views on life and everything in it, different character traits and personalities, and they each serve a unique purpose in my life, whether they are family, a friend or a stranger I just met.

Nobody is perfect in this world, and you can't uphold standards for people that you fall short of yourself.

You need people in your life. That doesn't mean you need them for survival, but being independent, you still need people in your life who can give you love, joy, companionship, and that you can reciprocate those things with too. No one should have nobody to share life with, as good or bad as it may be.

People change. They adapt, grow and move on in life, and they may or may not stay in your life. That gives you the chance in the present to cherish the people around you and to make communication a priority with those who you care about and wish to know for as long as possible.

People matter and people make a difference.

No one knows what you expect/want/wish to have/or need from them unless you tell them and have a relationship that's honest. Expectations unmet can ruin relationships before you even realize it.
You have to check your selfishness in order to be the best friend/family member/significant other etc., that you can be. True love is an action first and foremost, accompanied by emotion in order to further another's spiritual growth. Therefore, you need to be willing to serve the other person over your own selfishness for those in your life you truly love and care about. That's nothing short of a life long challenge!

People need you too. Relationships and interactions are a multi way street.

God puts people in your life for specific reasons, even if you don't know what that reason is.

Be grateful. Now that I am far from many that I care about and I miss them every day, there are people here that deserve my attention and focus as well, and it takes trusting in God to know that I am here to learn something He has set out for me to understand.