Cigarettes and Coffee

Coffee, a staple of my life for the past two years, is a beautiful thing. While I don't drink coffee everyday, or better said, I don't have to drink coffee daily, I very much enjoy sitting down and drinking a cup. Hot or cold, flavored or black, instant or barista made, coffee is a varied and internationally loved food group of its own. Even more options come with the kind of coffee you drink. Whether you favor a cappuccino, double shot espresso, simple mocha, medium blend brew, or a "skim milk non fat caramel machiatto light ice", your choices are endless. Coffee here in Lebanon has a different meaning. It goes beyond a morning necessity, and beyond your moment of relaxation; nose in a book and feet up at your favorite coffee shop next door.  It's a symbol of life here, especially for the Armenian population, who generously drink their coffee in sweet little cups, piping hot, and black as mud. This Armenian coffee is delicious though, with a few teaspoons of sugar and some fruit, it's a sure delicacy of the culture. They take it to an extreme level though when they drink their "black as mud" strong coffee 4-5 times a day. In the morning after breakfast, at 10:30 am after working for an hour, at noon before lunch, at 1 pm after lunch, and yet agin at 6 pm before dinner. It is beyond me why they all are not hyper caffeine addicts, adding to this coffee consumption packs of cigarettes, creating an interesting dynamic to watch. Coffee and cigarettes, while not always the smoking, is for the people here an outlet to connect. While doing construction this past week as we begin renovating the house, the matron of the floor below us has brought the workers and ourselves coffee everyday we are there. Speaking no English, she evens brings juice for my mom and I, knowing that we do not always want the coffee or tea she brings for the men, and understanding that she cannot ask us what we would like to drink. Sweet gestures like this, completely unnecessary, have astounded me. It amazes me to see the hospitality of this nation. Just like they love their coffee, they love to be welcoming and cordial to anyone new to Beirut or Lebanon in general. So while I sit and write(type), and drink my grande caramel mocha from Starbucks next door, I can't help but feel grateful to the power of coffee, and the community it helps to create between people of different languages and nationalities. 

The Beirut "Wow" Factor

So far in my life, I have been blessed generously with fantastic friends, each holding different impacts in my life. From friends from school, church, through family or other interests, these are the people, regardless of the quantity, that bring joy into my life continuously, regardless of distances from them. Along with my family, friends are those special people who you can't wait to discover life with. It has been hard  then to be in such a new and exciting part of my life without them here to share it with. Beyond that though, it is a real world lesson for me to understand that people come and go, my life comes and goes, and close friendships do not necessitate that you be close to them physically to connect with them relationally. For the few weeks I have been here, I have noticed myself caught in the vicious circle of missing everyone, holding myself back from meeting other potential friends. This Saturday night was my first night of real fun, my first night out on the town. Beirut and the downtown life is what people from the far reaches of the world come to enjoy. The party starts at midnight and goes to the wee hours, each person dancing and laughing the time away with those around them. I had heard of this nightlife and had been eager to experience it, being legal here now by only a few months. So Buddha-Bar it was, from midnight to 3 a.m., in the center of the exciting city. A gorgeous Asian themed restaurant and bar, luxe table and couches filled the bar area with red and soft glow lighting, and oriental to American pop chart music blasted from the DJ. There with one person I know, I left after having a fabulous time getting to know thirteen other equally fabulous Arabic young women. While almost all spoke English very well, it was the universal language of having fun and dancing that connected everyone together at this girls night out, Beirut "WOW" factor-style. These ladies know how to have fun, singing and moving to the music, the only thought to enjoy their time with those around them. It was a much needed experience for me, seeing that making new friends, while effort and time demanding, will be a worthwhile and enjoyable challenge. I will always wish my closest friends and my family could be here with me, wherever here is, to enjoy life in Beirut with me as I discover more of it, but now I am excited to enjoy it with people I don't know quite yet. An important life lesson learned, and a fantastic and fun night out completed, I am very excited to see what friends and Beirut has to offer me next! 

Rambling thoughts of clarifying honesty...

It has been twenty-four days that I have been in Beirut thus far. That has been a time of deep thoughts, sensory overloading, and huge intakes of life experience. These twenty-four days have also been a time of inaction though, sadly. Days filled with little things to do, a trip to the tile place, a trip to the market, but then of nothing of importance. I have put a lot of thinking into why I feel so lost in time, and why I feel so out of touch to the opportunities around me this past week. The easy answer would to be I'm still in a phase of getting accustomed, still new to the culture shock. But I honestly think it is something else. I am doing the hard work on my own heart, on the things and morals and experiences that had molded me, and I have come to a realization. My life will be filled with mundane days, and it will have moments, even phases, of the ordinary. Moving here I thought my life would be a 180 degree flip of what it had been, but I discovered that no matter where you are in the world, you are still YOU. I am me wherever I go, whatever language I speak, and whatever actions and decisions I make. The reality of this hit me, hard, when I was feeling far from God, and far from my family and friends. I was wrong to think that I would change in my lazy habits or need for people and socializing, and the loneliness , being brutally honest, is the hardest thing I have ever faced. But I am so blessed to have a God that makes sure I'm never alone. He is with me, wanting me, and directing my life. I understand now that these parts of me, my personality, want for friendships, and want for community are gifts. Drudging through these hard aspects of creating a new life will be more difficult that I thought previously, but I know now that it is the most worthwhile work. Fillings days with the unknown is what God's plan for me is, to relinquish the control I have placed over my own life into His hands is my next step. That trust is hard to give, but once completed, I can see a future of purpose and a life filled with people, love, faith, and the ordinary. While I ramble in this post, needing to write out these feelings and moments of truth, I hope some of you can resonate with me. No fancy story, no elaborate metaphor to describe this stage in my life could get my message across, and I hope that my honesty to do the hard work can maybe encourage you to do the hard work that is placed in front of you.

It's Electrifying!

Being American, there are many things that I am accustomed to. From certain brands, ways of living, types of food and so on, there are things that happen in the U.S., and things that don't. One such thing that doesn't happen very regularly in the U.S., for at least the cities I've lived in, is power outages. These happen in big, dramatic events that most doesn't know how to deal with, since they are not a normal part of a middle class American's life. Like the big southern California power outage last year, where schools were cancelled and gas stations were shut down, creating complete chaos for a few hours in our lives. While some relished in the opportunity to make their own adventures, to take advantage of the time off and relax; others turned to freak out mode over their refrigerators and inability to charge their phones/computers. It was the first time I had met my neighbors that night, and luckily for me, I LOVE candles, so besides a lack of communication, I was happy. But the days after the outage, it occurred to me that the power going off was not a normal event, and most dreaded it happening again. On the other side of the world in Beirut, Lebanon, the power being off is one of the most regular things about life. From the first day we were here, until now, almost a month later, the power is off multiple times EVERY DAY. Because of this, everyone has a personal generator. Where we are staying until the renovations are done with the house, there is only six hours of city electricity every day, forcing us to use the generator the other eighteen hours. By now, this is just one of the things that you respond to with, "WELCOME TO LEBANON!" No matter where you go, whether it be a fancy restaurant or to the local cafe next to your building, everyone's power goes off daily. Luckily for us, when we move into the house my stepdad owns with his sisters, we have city electricity twenty-one hours everyday, a rarity in this city. If you would have explained this to me a year ago, I don't know if I would of been to excited about being in Beirut, electricity-less. Living here now, this comical part of life has not phased me at all. Except for the times when, four grocery bags in hand, the power is off and you have to take the stairs, and not the lift(elevator). This is just another of those things that push me to be as adaptable as ever, and to thank God for the things in life that really matter.

P.s., I actually kinda wish the generators were not always coming on when the city power turns off, you miss the excitement of candlelight and the solace of the darkness! But then again, no one wants to eat rotten food and drink warm milk!

A Different State of Mind

Naturally, when moving from one country to another, everything changes and becomes different, and that's amplified even more when the country you moved from is the U.S. However, the differences go beyond a change in nationality, language, food or culture. Instead, the changes occur in a varied state of mind, a unique way of thinking that transform these "differences" into a way of life that, in my opinion, should be adopted by others. Even if it is just in moderation. The differences include the way people eat, in that they live to eat, rather than eat to live. This then contributes to the ever popular saying that if you have your health, and you have your family, then life is good. Further aspects of this state of mind include the slowness of life here in Lebanon. Beyond the young, billion dollar businessmen and women who work 24/7, most of the older generation here were brought up with the idea that, slowly by slowly things are done. Why rush through life? This concept has been frustrating for me, as I am used to the "go, go, GO!" nature of the United States. Here though, things get done when things get done, even if that means you go back to the person or place a few times until completion. While that aspect can also be a issue, it has benefits for life too. It forces you to take a moment and relax, and to realize that time goes no faster when you stress and rush to be successful. Here, people enjoy the company of others, closing their shops at 3 to serve coffee to a friend who dropped by. Here, people offer you the clothes and jewelry they own when they see that you love it more than they do. Here, people realize that, yes, their way of life may be slow or crazy or ridiculous in the eyes of others, but that they ENJOY LIFE. Life here means being grateful for the food on your plate, grateful for your family, and grateful for the health God blesses you with. You appreciate this so you may enjoy those around you to the fullest. The slow nature of life here at certain moments can be extremely frustrating. I realize though that learning to appreciate this "Lebanon state of mind" is something that can only increase the happiness and joy in my life in the years to come. It also adds a healthy dose of coffee, cars honking, frustratingly slow days and much more walking than any southern California girl is accustomed to. At least that is, until university starts in February...  

Expectations. Everyone has them; each a different mix of how that person lives, sees the world, and values life. Expectations are dangerous, they can go easily unsaid or unmet, or can be just as quickly a disappointment to the person who holds them. But expectations are something that, if consider thoughtfully and carefully, can bring to that person experiences, a view into the differences of this world, the uniqueness that life offers. Coming to Beirut, I regretfully had expectations, how could I not? Expectations of the city, the culture, the people, and expectations for myself, my life, and my future. Letting these preconceptions and thoughts go has and will continue to be difficult, but it is a life lesson, a crucial one at that. Leaving these notions behind of what I believe Lebanon should be like, how life should be, and how I should react to it only gives me freedom. Without the confines of expectations I am free to see the world that God designed, with the bad, the good and the beautiful, along with the ugly, the different, and the unknown. I have almost five months until I will be enrolled and starting college, and with that time, if I can be free from expectations, I can explore and learn and grow from this adventure that I am a part of. Will it be challenging, absolutely, it already is, but can I come out a year from now or decades from this time in my life and look back, blessed, completely. This movement, this ideal of seeing the world or situation for what it is, and absorbing and learning and growing from it; this is not a widely popular or easily accepted idea. But the challenge is worthwhile, especially with the knowledge that this is what change comes from. This is the thought process that is conducive with a life filled of purpose, of meaning. Yes, that fulfillment comes in my life through my faith in God and my relationship with Jesus Christ; but that alongside this mentality of learning and listening over speaking and putting up barriers to adversity, I can only look ahead to a future filled with possibilities, opportunities, and experiences.

So, I know there are a lot of misconceptions about Lebanon, so I thought I would compose a list of the things that are different about Beirut so people can have an insight to what it, so far, is really like!

1) THERE ARE NO CAMELS! Unless you go to the mountains or another area and pay a high touristy place for a camel ride, there are no parking spots for the camel that People believe I use as a car....

2) Pedestrians do not have any rights of way, or any rights period. Traffic here is chaos, full of BMWs, Mercedes and such other nice cars, that are full of dings, scratches, and dents from the lack of any traffic control, lanes, and any sort of order! However, it's not too scary, mostly just a comical feature of life!

3) There is not any danger or threat of me getting kidnapped, unless I were to travel near a dangerous border, which I am not close to in reality, it's very safe and common to walk, EVERYWHERE, in 100 degree heat.

4) The food is amazing! From traditional Lebanese food like, chicken shawerma, hommos, beef kabobs, or pita bread dishes, or to the very popular Chinease, Italian, and Burger restaurants. The food at Burger King, McDonalds, Pizza Hut, and Carl's Jr. are also very popular too!

5) Not all Lebanese men are hairy...though most are!

6) Everyone smokes! Whether it's the "aguileh" that we know as hookah, cigarettes, or cigars and pipes, smoking is everywhere, indoor, outdoor, and at all times of the day. AND, they know it's bad for them, but it's a way of life here!

7) Lebanon is a very, very, very hospitable and welcoming nation. Every neighbor, old friend, or new acquaintance wants to bring you coffee, cook you dinner, or give you the cross that you like that they wear, as you are their new family member! Also, you can't say no, that weird dish I never tried, I learn to love it!

8) It is extremely beautiful here! Full of sea views, trees, mountains and coastlines, Beirut and all of Lebanon is a naturally exquisite place to live.

9) Cats are everywhere, and no one knows why, and Mosquitos love new tourists(me)!

10) Life is slow and enjoyed here! If you have your health, you have a beautiful and full life. Wellness, Family, friends, and food, it's what every Lebanese, Armenian, or Arabic person needs.

11) Most people speak English, everyone drinks coffee, the tops of soda cans come off ,and you drink Pepsi with a straw!

12) Every woman and teenage girl here dresses, daily, as if they were going to either the club, or a wedding/party. Full hair, makeup and clothing, with high heeled shoes that look impossible, even for me, to walk in. 

13) The real fun starts at 9pm, whether it is your dinner reservation, or your snack before the nightlife, the city comes to life later, and wakes up at 10am after a isn't of partying and being with friends.

14) Beirut is amazing, it's different, it's new, and it's bizarre, but it is full of places to explore in wonderment and people to love and learn from, all while eating delicious home cooked food!

So, it has been 11 days so far in Beirut, and it's been nothing less of a whirlwind thus far! Getting here was easy enough, a cramped plane ride straight to London-Heathrow and a connecting flight to Beirut, Lebanon. After some 13 hours of sleep and rest, the first noticeable difference was the heat. Being from SoCal, I like to say I love the heat, but 110 degrees with humidity is just ridiculous! Thankfully, that heat is only present for a few days of August, and now a comfortable 85-95 is the current state through November. Other differences are even more obvious,  with the main languages being Arabic,Armenian and French, then English, and the crazy traffic and lack of street lanes or traffic control. However, despite these differences, life in Lebanon is lovable! The traffic and honking is comical, the languages are interesting to hear and learn, and the people make it feel as if I have lived here forever. 11 days in and I have already been blessed to see the beautiful natural Jeita Grotto, full of stalagmites and stalactites, the Harissa mountaintop church and Our Lady of Lebanon, and the Mediterranean Sea. Full of beauty, wonder, and places to explore, it's what will motivate me these next four months before I can start the American University here, knowing I have the opportunity and time do see and do something that has MEANING.